I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
