so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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