If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
