Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
how drunk are you?
Several
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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