they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
