Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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