i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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