Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
