She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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