I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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