I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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