i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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