And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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