Yo dont text me then not text me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
