im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize