I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
