Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
