is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
