honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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