Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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