And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
