don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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