good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
