Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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