i jhust puked up my retainher.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
