I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
honey bunches of taint.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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