He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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