Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would fuck him just for his dog
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