You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
