can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
