also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
