oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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