K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
