JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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