some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
