Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
