yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
