they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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