quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
