Do you still have your period?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize