I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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