I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
