Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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