Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How does it feel to date your dad?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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