I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize