i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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