3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
