mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
