IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
