she smelled like a LAN party
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
COCAINE IS GR8
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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