Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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