i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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