And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
