Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
one might say we're banned from that church
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize