I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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