Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
