Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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