That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
