why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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