mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
