Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
