sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
