he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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