:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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