what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
