you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
